SUNKISSED

I guess I could tell you all about that time when he caught that shark out by Capers Island, a couple of summers ago. The shark was a four foot long Blacktip, its top fin impressive and sharp as a knife, yet soft and beautiful. The skin like sand paper and the black eyes beautiful and glittery in the bright sunlight. Or, I could tell you about that cool summer evening in the Swedish mountains, not far from Kebnekaise, where a pure and fresh salmon just waited to be admired for a moment and then let back in the Same owned lake. Or, I could even choose that time when he caught a tiny minnow in the back yard pond when he was two, held it in his little chubby palm for a moment, kissed it and watched it swim home to its mommy.

Excitement, that’s what its all about.

Those moments are so precious to me and I am so thankful that he lets me be a part of them. I capture them all with my camera, but most of all, in my heart. Sometimes I panic, these moments will pass, fade a little bit with time. I have to capture it all, I have to be a part of these moments!I will not allow myself to forget.

The fishing story I choose to tell you about, happened just a few weeks ago, on October 3. My husband and I took the boys out to the Dynamite Hole by the Jettys. Do you remember that Saturday? It was hardly any wind at all, even out there. How can I describe it,the beauty of it all. You know what it feels like; the air – hot and humid – vibrating of excitement and anticipation; sunkissed skin, muscles playing, eyes watching; the salty water under us, filled with creatures still unseen and untouched.

There it is again, the excitement, like a constant being, surrounding us all. We all feel it as our older son Alex, almonst falls over a little in the boat as the rod bends so much, the tip almost touches the surface. He wrestles with something that’s down there, what it is we have yet to see. We are all staring down in the deep blue,it feels like a waste of time to even blink as we might lose a milli second of this moment. The beast reaches the surface, teases us, lets us only see his scaly back, and there he goes again with a splash, down, down – but only to give up after a few more minutes.

But now I sence something else entirely, as the huge Redfish all of a sudden breathes air instead of water. Call it a mother’s intuition, but worry and frustration seeps into my sences from somewhere, as husband and son lands the monster and laughs and screams fill the air. And now I know where it is coming from; our younger one, Adam, who watches and takes it all in. He is happy for his brother,he even wants to call their sister Angelica and tell her, but it is hard, because he is The Fisherman, he was the Shark Catcher, The Salmon Watcher, The Minnow Man. He was the one who came along today with an anticipation that you couldn’t even begin to measure.

What can I say without sounding hollow? How can I comfort him without sounding shallow? I need not worry. He has figured it out all on his own. After all, he is a fisherman and he waits for his turn, sees the fish as already in his hands, waits… And there it is! Another Redfish, not as big, nothing to laugh and scream about, but it gives him what he needs. You guessed it, excitement! Thrill! A feeling of accomplishment. He doesn’t need comfort. He needs this moment to be his.

This feeling is what that old man in the boat next to us shares with him, as they briefly smile at each other.

That old man, with soft wrinkles and a patient mind, who was also a boy once.

And here he is, my son, sunkissed and happy. So happy.

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Lena Halvarsson